I have been excited about writing this book. It's very twisted falling in love with the man who kidnapped you over a decade ago and ruined your life, but this is exactly what Teddy does. He's obsessed with his kidnapper. Here's the prologue which happens fifteen years ago. I know it might seem dark, but honest to goodness, it's not that dark. Just twisted.
(N.B. This teaser is unedited)
Look. At. Me.
It was useless trying to command him with my mind. We weren’t telepaths, but I couldn’t yell the words at him across the courtroom. They had rules here about conduct and not intimidating the witness.
Quite boring, if you asked me.
His lips moved, but his words didn’t interest me, so I didn’t pay them any mind. I already knew everything the victim was recounting for the jury. Of how much I was an evil man who’d kidnapped him and held him hostage for nine months. Nine months of psychological torture that left him broken and uncertain of what was real and what was fake.
Tears slipped down his pale cheeks, and I swallowed. The front of my trousers grew tight. His attorney might have coached him not to hide his emotions from the jury, but his wet face made me hard.
It reminded me of the first time I’d taken him raw, his young, virgin body trembling beneath me, repelling at the thought of spreading his legs for another man. He’d pushed at my chest as I pressed my way to the hilt inside of him in one go, but as soon as I’d started pulling back, he’d gripped my hips and begged me not to leave.
That day, his tears said he wanted me to stop, but through his sobs he’d begged me not to. He’d wanted me to keep touching him, keep hurting him. And he’d begged me through the snot and the tears to kiss him.
When I’d deprived him of sensations and waged a psychological torture on his mind, I never expected what would come. How much seeing him so vulnerable and desperate for human contact would make me want to give him that.
To this day, I still didn’t understand it—the desire I’d felt for this man when none other had ever made me hard. Yet here in court, standing trial for the things I’d done to him, I couldn’t stop the warmth that gushed inside my gut and flooded my loins.
I wanted to fuck him right in front of the judge and splash his body with my semen to mark him as mine. Did they think locking me up would change that? I’d already made him mine.
Look. At. Me.
“Everything was white,” he said and inhaled deeply. His lips trembled, lips that had wrapped around my cock as he hummed in pleasure while staring up at me with devastating gratitude. He could have easily clamped his teeth down onto my cock and ripped it off, but he’d instead sucked and drooled and when I’d come down his throat, whined and begged for more.
“What happened to you after staying in that white room all those months?” the attorney asked him gently. He picked up a bottle of water and handed it to the victim. I frowned, my stomach coiled in anger like a spring.
I fed him.
I clothed him.
He depended entirely on me.
His hand trembled as he opened the bottle of water and took a sip, spilling droplets onto the sky blue shirt he was wearing. He looked better in the white shift I’d only allowed him to wear during his time with me.
“It’s—It’s like nothing made sense anymore,” he said, his breathing unsteady. “My senses, my mind, couldn’t cope with the silence, the whiteness, the lack of sensations. You don’t know what it’s like. I’m used to my family and friends. The loneliness, I couldn’t escape it. I used to hit my head on the wall just to have some feeling.”
Until I found out what he was doing and tied him up. He’d stopped doing it fast. The only one who could give him pain and comfort him was me.
“And what happened when you tried to seek sensation by harming yourself?”
“He was furious. He blindfolded me, gagged me, and tied me up. I was left there for two days—at least think it was two days. They all started blurring together. It meant I lost the privilege of going to the bathroom. He made me stay in my own filth for days.”
Now how was that fair when he didn’t mention the care I’d taken to clean him up myself afterward? Did he forget how grateful he was at that time? He’d sat on my lap and wept in my chest while I explained why I’d punished him so harshly.
I would have done worse had anyone else harmed him. He was my project. Not his nor anyone else’s.
My little pet.
Look at me.
I whispered the words, but they were too low for anyone else but my attorney to hear. He shifted in his seat beside me, but I didn’t pay him any mind. My attention was solely for the young man on the stand.
“I know this is hard for you, Theodore, but the jury needs to understand exactly how this man tortured you.”
“Objection, your honor,” my overpriced lawyer said. “He’s leading the witness.”
“Sustained. Just ask the questions, Counsel.”
“Sorry, Your Honor.” The lawyer looked pissed, but he shoved his fisted hands into his pockets. “Theodore, did the defendant sexually assault and rape you while you were his prisoner?”
I straightened up in my chair, curious to hear his answer this time. Teddy’s Adam’s Apple bobbed in his throat, and he turned his head. Our eyes met. His big, beautiful blue eyes. They were prettiest when wet and drowning in misery.
The question was in a gray area. What would he answer? I never forced him. I never even initiated the act. He’d come to me, begging, seeking comfort and taking touch wherever he could get it. The word “no” never graced his lips nor “stop.” Though I’d taken perverse pleasure from asking him, “Do you want me to stop?” Sobs would rack his chest while he reached for me and begged me not to leave him alone. That I could take whatever I wanted from him as long as I stayed with him.
He’d simultaneously loathed me but could not do without me.
“Theodore, please answer the question,” his attorney urged.
I smiled. They could lock me up and throw the keys away. His hesitation was everything that I needed.
“No,” he said, while staring directly at me. He didn’t embellish, didn’t expound at all. Just the one word.
His attorney looked startled, as if he’d expected another response from Teddy. He stumbled over his words and asked more questions about the things I’d done to punish and torture Teddy. The damage was already done though. It was obvious to everyone in the room, Teddy’s answer didn’t suit him. He looked almost disgusted when he handed over to the judge.
“Thank you, counsel,” Judge Berr said. “And with that, we’ll end things here today. We’ll resume tomorrow at 10AM. The defense will have a chance to cross-examine the witness. Court is now adjourned.”
“This is good.” My attorney smiled. “Since Mr. Hamilton changed his testimony on the stand,, they have no leg to stand on and will have to drop the rape charge. We can also argue that his whole account can’t be trusted given the way he switched just now.”
My attorney kept talking, but I tuned him out. Teddy was on his feet, stepping down from the stand. Even with the jury, judge, lawyers, reporters, and eyewitnesses in court, energy crackled across the room between us. Tension zinged back and forth, and I could sense the herculean effort on his part to not look back at me.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off his slender frame. He did look much better in white. His blond hair was growing back. I’d always kept it shaved. The pity. It was my one regret since he had such lovely hair, but it’d been a part of the humiliation he had to suffer at my hands.
“Mr. Whittaker, please stand.”
I tore my eyes away from Teddy and took in the officer who’d transported me to court. Time to head back to the slammer. I rose to my feet and held out my hands for the handcuffs. He snapped them around my wrists.
“You son of a bitch!” The loud cry dragged my attention to a stout man barreling down the aisle toward me. Chief of police, Chester Hamilton was no stranger to me. Today wouldn’t have been possible without him after all. “You ruined my son! Rot in hell, you heartless bastard!”
The muzzle of a gun in his hand flashed a second before a bullet ripped through my chest, followed by another. I stumbled back against the officer who’d handcuffed me.
Someone screamed. The sound was familiar. Teddy. He’d screamed for me just like that when I’d spread his thighs and ravaged the insides of his thighs with my teeth. Fire spread throughout my torso, and blood filled my mouth. I felt myself falling as two cops restrained Teddy’s father.
“We need an ambulance!” someone shouted.
The officer lowered me to the floor. My heart hammered inside my chest, pumping overtime. With my hands handcuffed in front of me, I couldn’t do anything to stem the flow of blood that pooled from my body. My shirt was already soaked in it.
“Fuck,” I grunted.
“Duncan, stay with me.” My lawyer kneeled to my left.
Teddy. It was Teddy, still screaming, crying. I curled my hands into fists. Maybe it was better this way. He could live a peaceful life knowing the man who’d damaged him was dead.
This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. All I’d wanted was revenge, but when I’d taken him last Valentine’s day, removed his blindfold and stared into his blue eyes, I’d felt the most intense pain squeezing my heart. Like an arrow had been thrust through it. And I knew then, for better or worse, our lives would never be the same.
Someone ripped the front of my shirt. They were pressing on my chest, trying to stem the bleeding. I turned my head to find Teddy staring at me, his eyes wide and face white with shock.
That terrified look on his face was perfect.
He was perfection.
My vision blurred, turning hazy, but not before I saw him touch the mark on the side of his neck where I’d branded him.
That’s right, my twisted obsession. Even in death you’re mine.